the unwanted call
by Anna Marie Masen
Summary: My take on the call between Rosalie and Edward about Bella's death... also Jaspers included. Edwards POV. i know its been done but i always had a different idea about how it all happened : ENJOY and please review... let me know if you hate it or love it.


_My take on how the phone call with Rose would have happened. I plan on it being a one shot but if you all like it enough I would continue to write it from Edwards perspective. Review Please :)_

**EDWARDS POV**

I willed for the burning to return, the feeling of the hot flames to relight inside my throat and the venom to flood my mouth. If I could only feel that again then I would know that she was not far. _Maybe I could visit her, keep to the shadows, if I could just see her…NO!_ I screamed inside my head. _I promised to stay away. I couldn't break another promise, she deserved more than that from me, she deserved more than me. Maybe just one look through her window, just for a few moments, just to make sure she's alright…what if she's not alone? Would she, could she replace me so fast… NO! I CANT!_ I shouted again. What was wrong with me, I had assumed that after a few weeks the urgent need to see her face, smell her scent, would leave me but it hasn't. I fought to make it through the first week, it felt like every moment was another second I was growing deader inside, something I didn't really think was possible. In all honesty, the first week, the excruciating painful devastating first week, was the easiest by along shot. Alice had been right…Yet again! She had warned me that I wouldn't be strong enough to handle the pain, that I would destroy myself and my family if I left her but I couldn't take any chances with Bella's life, with her soul. Not my Bella, she had earned the right to everything in the world, to experience it all in the sunlight, staying clear of that dreadful twilight, my safest hour. _Maybe I should check in on her though, just to see, she was a danger magnet she might need me, but if she saw me, I'm fast… I could follow her, she would never know the difference…NO NO NO! _I scolded myself. _Leave her alone!!! _Why was it so hard to think of anything but her… _to see her face, her eyes, those lips… to kiss those lips again…_ why couldn't I just let her be. She wasn't my Bella anymore and as soon as I learned that the better off she would truly be… _or would she? Would she be better off with me? I wont know till I go back and find out… I could…NO EDWARD STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT_! You would assume that after nearly nine months I would be able to take my mind off of her… to put it to some use but it was an impossibility for me. Truth was, I missed my family but being with them caused me more pain than I could handle. They were all in love, they got to keep their others but worst than that, every time I looked at them … I could only see the reason why I couldn't keep my Bella. I had to protect her from others of my kind, especially from them… from me.

I had barely noticed the sun set, the darkness invited itself into my small loft apartment through the small gap in the curtains. Mexico was know for its sun, not the best place to hide out if I didn't want to cause attention to myself. Maybe I should leave tonight but where to go? I thought about going back to my family but that would only bring on more memories of Bella … _My Bella… I could stop by Forks tonight. I could jump in her window … would she still leave it unlocked for me? Just one second, just a glimpse and I could survive another nine months. _I could force myself to live in my head, to keep reliving the precious moments I shared with her, that look in her eyes when she first saw me in the sunlight, our first kiss… I had pushed her away that day but now all I could think about was her arms wrapping around my body, her hands tangling in my hair as she craved for me just as much as I did for her. _One short visit, I could do it, one quick look and then go… would I be able to just leave again? Would I be able to walk away again, tear out my cold dead heart and leave it with her again… No, I wouldn't be able._ I knew it but I didn't want to admit it, admitting it only made it clearer in my mind that for her own safety I should never attempt to see her again. Hopefully it would be a long time in the future, but on that day when she finally leaves this world, taking everything that is pure and good with her … I would know. _I would feel my heart leaving, the hole spreading… I would know…would I know? Yes! My Bella was connected to me, I would know, I would have to._ This world wouldn't be the same without her, I would know! I kept repeating, hoping to eventually believe it.

The annoying buzzer went off on my phone again. _Why couldn't they just let me go!_ Was it so hard to understand that without Bella I didn't want to belong, to be a Cullen. It was just too hard. Silence. Closing my eyes I pictured her face, wondering what she was doing now, how she was… Irritating buzzing interrupted her image, that was the seventh time in twenty minutes… _Maybe I should answer._

Flicking the phone open, glancing once at the number. The Denali's, The Cullen's latest residence… _oh great here we go_… why did they insist on begging me to come back. It was all Alice's fault and her stupid vision of me destroying the family, it was the reason I knew what was really going on there, what I was causing…

"What?" I said bluntly after no one spoke.

"Edward… we need to … erm … oh gees I thought this would be easier…" Rose was stumbling over her words, this was new and worrying.

"Rose, What? Just say it before I hang up… I'm busy!" I tried to sound calm but I knew my irritation leaked in.

"Busy… pfft… sitting around moping doesn't count as busy you fool!" I knew that voice, that act, she was hiding something. The calm before the storm.

"ROSE" I shouted.

"Edward, come home. We can talk about it here" she whispered quietly. My suspicions were right, she was hiding something.

"Denali is not home" I stated coldly.

"Well, we can go back to Forks…" a thousand knifes stabbed the missing area where my heart had once been and I wanted to say yes, to run as fast as possible to the one place that truly was my home. I knew I couldn't.

"Enough playing Rose, speak! What is it? Carlisle? Esme?"

"No, none of them" she cut in but wasn't willing to go any further. My irritation was in full bloom.

"Put Alice on the phone" if anyone would tell me, it would be that little pixie. There was a moment too long of silence. "Rose, put Alice on NOW!" I growled.

"I … I cant Edward, she's not here" there was that stutter again. _What was going on? _"She's … well she's just not here right now. Come here Edward please." Now I was certain something was up, why would Rose beg me like that.

"Where is Alice? Hunting?" I tried to sound calm but a small growl erupted from my chest.

"No, not hunting." more silence.

"Shopping?" she hadn't done that a lot that I had seen but I hadn't been around. _Alice just needed time to get back into the swing of things,_ she was missing Bella too but she could get over it.

"Rose, what are you doing… tell me that's not…" I heard Jaspers voice in the background. I could almost see the expression that went with that voice. Something was definitely wrong. "Why Rose! Was it so hard to listen to Alice just this once…" he continued to scold her.

"He has a right to know now… if it was… I would like to think he would tell me!" she growled back.

_What did that mean? If it was? Who? Emmett? She would want to know what? What did it have to do with Alice? Why would I have a right to know?_

"He cant, he wont handle it well Rose!" Jasper yelled, his tone was livid and yet even I could hear the fear that ran through it.

"TELL ME NOW" I screamed, a violent growl clawed its way up my throat and out tore out of my mouth down the phone. "Where is Alice?"

Suddenly my mind could only think of one thing, one thing that would make this conversation happen. _Her. My… But I would know if something happened to her, if she was… I would know… I have to know… I would know…_

"Alice had a vision" I heard Jasper's sigh and I knew the words that would follow. "She's in Forks… She went to…"

I cut in, I couldn't take her slow speech, as long as she was alive, as long as she would recover … I could deal with it then. "Help Bella. She's hurt but she's fine, or at least she will be." when I heard only silence I couldn't help but continue. "It's bad, really bad… but she's going to survive… right?" only silence again. I could hear the silent tearless sobs from Rosalie's chest. I closed my eyes picturing My Bella's beautiful face as she lid sleeping in the hospital in Phoenix. That was bad but she survived and I got through it. Maybe I should go back. She might need my help now more than ever. _For God sake why was Rosalie not saying anything_…_why was she sad? She doesn't even like Bella?_

"Rose" I heard Jasper's guilt ridden whisper "tell him to come home."

"I've tried…" was all she replied. Her voice was low and shaky, the pain clear as she had spoken the words.

I couldn't stop my mind, it flashed before I could control it._ But I would know! Something would tell me! I would feel it! _I repeated over and over as I saw the my angels face turn ashen as the blood dried under her skin. _I would know_! Even inside my head, my thoughts matched the tone Rosalie used.

"Please … Ro…Rose… Ple…Please just tell me" my voice broke as I braced myself for what I knew was to come.

"Edward, She saw Bella jump … she jumped…" Her voice was thick and if she could cry, I knew she would be hysterical right now.

"jumped?" I repeated my voice hardly audible.

"Bella jumped off the La Push cliffs …Edward she…"

I heard Bella's voice now, her promising me… "She promised" I choked out, I couldn't hear the next words "Alice got there in time though?" I asked, squeezing my eyes shut and pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Jasper" I heard her say and I knew she was pleading with him to take over. When her voice continued I knew he had refused and that was all the conformation I needed. "Edward, she only saw the vision moments before it happened… She watched and watched but…"

_Don't say it. Don't say it. Not my Bella. Not my Angel!_

"She never came back up" Rosalie's voice was barely a whisper. I felt my whole world fall away. "Alice went to help Charlie, she thought that maybe if she could help him that" I closed the phone. I couldn't hear anymore.

I would have given anything for the fire from my transformation to return, for any pain to return, for anything that might lessen the pain I felt now. _She had jumped… she was … no sometimes Alice was wrong! I needed more proof… if Bella was… I would know damn it! I would feel it!!!_

I flicked open my phone and dialed the number I had dialed more than a thousand times in the last week but couldn't bring my self to hit the small green call button. This time I hit it. _Just let her be… let her be alive, just give me one more chance to see her and I swear I will never leave her. How could I have left her, knowing what I know about her… how could she break her word to me._ I heard and saw it again and again as I replayed the moment she promised me in my mind._ How could she? Please I will give anything, do anything. Just please._ I begged hoping that Carlisle was right, that he had always been right, hoping that someone was listening to me.

"Swan residence" I knew that voice. It was Jacob Black. _Why was Jacob there? If Bella was … he wouldn't be there … he would have no reason…_ I began to feel hope electrocuting through me. _Charlie _and the electrocuting stopped.

"It's Dr Carlisle Cullen. Can I Speak to Charlie?" I forced the words out, sounding as much like Carlisle as I was able to at this moment. Charlie would talk to Carlisle, he could explain to me what medical terms the doctors had used on how bad Bella was.

"Charlie's not here" he sneered at me. _What was that?_ Did he blame me for Bella being hurt and was taking it out on any member of my family. I suppose if she was hurt from the jump it would be my fault. _If I hadn't of left her…_

"Well, do you know where he is?" if I needed to make a hundred calls to reach Charlie then I would, I would do anything to know that my Bella was alive, to know that my sister was taking care of her and I would run to her. I suddenly jumped up and began for the door, waiting on Jacobs answer.

"He's at the funeral" I froze, one hand turning the door handle, the other held the phone. I could see nothing but Bella's body frozen in time, never to age, move, breathe again. Her lips never to smile, her teeth never to bite her bottom lip, her eyes never to hold her secrets. _My Bella… gone._

I dropped the phone, slamming shut as it bounced off the floor, my knees weak beneath me, I felt them buckle and I was barely aware of my body smashing against the hard floor. I couldn't think, breathe, move. I could only see her face - Ashen, cold, lifeless. Then nothing.

Moments passed, time had no structure, my mind began to work again. Her voice filled my head, her scent circled around me. _How could I have been so stupid._ _She was… and it was my fault._ I couldn't bare to say the word. _If I was there I could have stopped this, I could have prevented all of this, she would still be, It was all my fault._ My existence was empty again, it held nothing more of interest and never would again. I had once found Romeo and Juliet to be tedious and pathetic but little did I know, for the first time since I had heard the story I finally understood the characters and their actions._ My Bella, My Angel… gone… I couldn't stay here. Not when she wasn't._ I managed to climb up to my knees, pushing myself to my feet. _The Volturi_ rang inside my head like a rhythm. _My way out._ I grabbed my bag, it held only two things, one I needed and the other I couldn't live without. I pulled out the photo, _My Bella_, I stroked her face and I could almost feel her beneath my skin._ I never should have left her. I ruined everything. _The item I needed was dark blue and also small enough to fit into my pocket. I dropped my bag and headed for the doorway. My plan was already set before I had know to leave Bella… now all I had to do was act on it.


End file.
